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Diary
By Kellnerin (Sun Nov 04, 2007 at 09:00:58 PM EST) (all tags)
Two conversations belatedly related by your Kellnerin-on-a-Train representative (Kellnerin).


MAYBE YOU HEARD about this parade we had last week, related to some "World Series" thing. Anyway, it seems a lot of people got pretty excited about a parade, and a few of them were on my train in to work that morning.

A group of maybe five or six college students got on at my stop. They marvelled at how many of the people on the train were actually using it for some purpose other than to attend the parade. "Look at all these people wearing suits and shit," I believe were their words. "Fucking working stiffs."

They took a bunch of seats in my car, somewhere behind my seat (well, actually in front of my seat, as the train goes, but behind me -- I have a tendency to ride backwards on the train). At irregular intervals, they erupted into cheers.

"Red Sox! Wooo!"

"Let's go Red Sox <stomp stomp> Let's go Red Sox!"

"Rolling Rally!"

At another stop, another group of parade fans got on, or maybe they were just very agreeable, for the next time the cheer came around, they responded to every exclamation with a hearty "Yes!"

"Go Red Sox!"

"Yes!"

"Gonna get hammered today!"

"Yes!"

"Red Sox, wooo!"

"Yes!"

"Yes!"

"Yes!"

"No, we say 'Yes,' you say 'Red Sox'!"

"Yes!"

"Yes!"

"Red Sox!"

A couple stops later, they went another round:

"Red Sox!"

"Yes!"

"Red Sox!"

"Yes!"

"Woooo!"

Then:

"There a pisser on this train!"

"Yes!"

"Where, I need it!"

"I hope so!"

The inquirer got up and consulted with the conductor. "Pisser's in the back!" he announced.

"Yes!" came the encouraging response, as a large guy started to make his way down the aisle, green plastic soda bottle in hand, only to disappear into the next car back.

Some minutes later, when he returned, the agreeable folk cheered, "He's back!"

"The pisser was closed!"

"Use the bottle!"

"I've got a strong bladder!"

"Yes!"

"Go Red Sox!"

"Yes!"


THE OTHER EVENING on my way home, as the train -- mostly empty by this point -- approached my station, I became aware of another passenger talking, in my car. Parade excitement aside, there doesn't tend to be much conversation on the train, especially not directed at other people on the train. (You can usually tell when someone's talking to someone at a distance, because they begin the conversation with "Hi, I'm on the train.")

The voice, as I first became aware of it, was male, with something like a slight Caribbean accent. "Can you smell it," he seemed to be saying. Repeating, actually, as you might repeat a phrase to a small child hoping to elicit a particular reaction. "Can you smell it?"

I can't say how many times he'd said this before I clued in on it, but it was coming from behind me, and odd as it was, it seemed just as likely that I was just hearing half of an unusual conversation on the phone, and I wasn't quite curious enough to speculate on what his interlocutor might be smelling.

It got a bit more interesting when the voice went on to say what sounded like, "Mind your own business. Get your feet away from me."

I heard giggling, maybe some quiet, dismissive scoffing.

"Don't judge me," said the first voice. "This is a society we live in."

Then the train pulled into my station.

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Rolling Rally | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback
"Red Sox, wooo!" by toxicfur (2.00 / 0) #1 Mon Nov 05, 2007 at 08:15:06 AM EST
That made me laugh far more than was necessary. I love these train stories.
-----
If you don't get a Bonnie, my universe will not make sense. --blixco


I'm glad by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #3 Mon Nov 05, 2007 at 07:04:54 PM EST
On the actual train, it felt like I was the only one chuckling like an idiot, doing that silent-shaking-laughter-unsuccessfully-masked-by-the-occasional-cough thing. I think if I had actually gone to the parade it could only have been anticlimactic.

--
"Late to the party" is the new "ahead of the curve" -- CRwM
[ Parent ]

The thing about writing dialog. by Christopher Robin was Murdered (2.00 / 0) #2 Mon Nov 05, 2007 at 02:00:59 PM EST
Your diary reminds me of why it is so hard to write realistic dialog. Writers often assume that dialog - like descriptive language and plot points and whatnot - should convey information. Usually, this information should be conveyed with a modicum of efficiency. But this is one of those fake-realisms that fiction traffics in - like the idea that all the details of life tie into an aesthetic and meaningful message or that lives have story arcs.

Real language use is so much weirder than that.

I suspect one would have to be a somewhat of a Dadaist to really capture how folks talk.



people talk stupid in real life by Kellnerin (4.00 / 1) #4 Mon Nov 05, 2007 at 07:14:47 PM EST
And we don't want to read real life in fiction, for the most part, we want to read arcs and meaning and all that stuff. The exchanges in this diary wouldn't fly in fiction -- maybe it's the James Frey effect: call something fiction and the reader goes, "Bored now." I guess, because if you're going to go to the trouble of inventing a reality you might as well improve on the one we've got. But say: "True story! It happened to me!" and suddenly the slightly odd, or the completely outrageous, becomes a fascinating commentary on the human condition.

--
"Late to the party" is the new "ahead of the curve" -- CRwM
[ Parent ]

We are so glad by johnny (2.00 / 0) #5 Tue Nov 06, 2007 at 12:55:05 AM EST
That you ride those trains on our behalf.  For some of them rides sure must be more boring and or taxing than others. But there are nuggets in all, or at least gold flakes, for the patient panner, and better you than us, K.

I'm considering sigging this line:

"Don't judge me," said the first voice. "This is a society we live in."

But I'm still kinda in love with the one I've had for a while. . .
... this is dreamworld after all... it isn't? Shit.


I insist by Kellnerin (2.00 / 0) #6 Tue Nov 06, 2007 at 07:00:37 PM EST
that you retain the Q-sig, for nothing I nor any guy on a train could formulate could be a more perfect sig for you, I believe. But thanks for the thought.

--
"Late to the party" is the new "ahead of the curve" -- CRwM
[ Parent ]

Rolling Rally | 6 comments (6 topical, 0 hidden) | Trackback